Lucy, Lately

I’ve been finding my way back to tarot and oracle cards lately, which I wasn’t really expecting.

I first got into them years ago because of my friend Gala. I had an Herbal Astrology deck that I eventually gave to her, and at some point I sold most of my other decks. (Although I recently discovered that apparently I did keep one classic tarot deck. 😂)

Then, while visiting Gala recently, we pulled out that Herbal Astrology deck again.

Around the same time, we made a few visits to Maya Moon Collective in San Diego, one of those places I could happily disappear into for hours. They have ceremonial cacao drinks and a collection of tarot, oracle, and inspirational decks sitting out for anyone to use.

We started experimenting with them while we drank our cacao, and there was one particular deck we kept returning to because the messages seemed to give both of us so much to think about.

And that was all it took to reopen that door for me.

Not long afterward, I saw someone on Instagram with an absolutely epic Star Trek collection share The Next Generation Tarot Deck and immediately thought… Wow, if there is a tarot deck for me, obviously this is it! So I ordered it.

Then I remembered another deck that caught my eye while browsing a shop in San Diego… Norse Magic. I thought an oracle deck might be fun to use alongside the Star Trek tarot deck, so I ordered that one too.

It arrived yesterday. And this morning I used them together for the first time.

But first: what tarot means to me

When I first shared my Star Trek deck with a Trekkie friend, he said something about the combination seeming counterintuitive… which, honestly, I can understand. Star Trek and tarot aren’t exactly two things you’d immediately think to put together. 😂

But that’s also part of what made the deck so appealing to me.

I explained that I don’t really think of tarot as fortune-telling or something that’s supposed to predict what’s going to happen. For me, it’s much more of a tool for reflection. I pull a card, read about the symbolism and meaning behind it, and ask myself what (if anything) it brings up for me about what is currently happening in my life.

What does this make me think about?
Why does this particular part resonate with me?
Is there something here I haven’t considered before?
Is there something I already know but haven’t really been listening to?

And so far, I’ve found it surprisingly helpful.

I’m also a Christian, and I know tarot can be a complicated subject within Christianity. But the way I personally use it doesn’t feel at odds with my faith. I’m not asking the cards to tell me my future or treating them as an authority over my life.

Tarot actually began as a card game in 15th century Italy, with its association with divination developing much later. And years ago I read a fascinating book called Contemplative Tarot by a Christian author who incorporated tarot into her own devotional practice. I eventually gave my copy to my friend Gala, but lately I’ve been thinking about buying another because I’d really like to revisit it.

So, for me, the cards are prompts.

And sometimes a prompt happens to ask exactly the question I needed to ask myself.

This morning’s experiment

I’ve also been experimenting with different ways of choosing cards.

Today I shuffled each deck thoroughly and spread the cards out in front of me. Before choosing anything, I prayed and asked God whether there was anything in particular I should be meditating on or reflecting on right now.

Then I closed my eyes and slowly moved my hand across the cards.

Instead of consciously choosing one, I decided I’d take whichever cards happened to catch against my fingers and come along for the ride.

This is a highly scientific methodology, obviously. 😂

I pulled three from the Star Trek deck:

IV of Starships
Knight of Bat’leths – K’Ehleyr
The World – The Galaxy

And well…

IV of Starships: come back to the present

The first card was almost uncomfortably timely.

Its guidebook talks about becoming so caught up in daydreams that you stop seeing what’s actually in front of you. Basically, it was telling me to stop getting so caught up in what might happen that I miss what’s actually happening right now.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how easy it is to live in anticipation…

Waiting for something.

Imagining a future conversation.

Rehearsing what I’m going to say.

Imagining what someone else might say.

Trying to work out what something means before I actually have enough information to know.

I’ve been practicing something incredibly simple instead:

I don’t know.

Not as in giving up, but as freedom and a reminder that I don’t have to fill every unknown with a story.

Knight of Bat’leths: use your energy

Then came K’Ehleyr.

The Knight of Bat’leths is passionate, fearless, confident and willing to act. She knows what she believes and isn’t afraid to say it.

That made me think about something else I’ve been learning…

Being present doesn’t mean becoming passive. There are things I do know.

I know more about what I need. I know what feels good to me and what doesn’t. I know where I need better boundaries. I know there are things I want to say when the opportunity comes.

I don’t need to rehearse that future conversation a hundred times.

But when the moment actually arrives, I also don’t want to forget everything I’ve learned or be afraid to say what I actually need just because I’m worried about what happens afterward.

I can be here now and I can speak honestly when then becomes now.

The World: I don’t need to know what’s next

And finally…

The World.

Completion. Understanding. The end of one journey and the beginning of another.

This one immediately reminded me of something I’ve been practicing for a while now…

Fully committed. Totally unattached.

I’ve realized that non-attachment isn’t the same thing as not caring. It’s actually almost the opposite.

I can love deeply, show up fully, hope, and want something.

And at the same time, I can let go of my demand that it turn out exactly the way I’ve imagined.

Maybe something continues, maybe it changes, or maybe it becomes something I haven’t considered yet.

We’ll see.

(Yes, apparently the tiny tattoo on my hand has become an entire life philosophy. 😂)

And then I pulled from the Norse deck…

This is where things got weirdly cohesive.

Without changing my question, I shuffled and spread out Norse Magic and chose three cards the same way.

I pulled:

Heimdall
Geri and Freki
Village

Heimdall is associated with alert senses, mindfulness and clear-seeing. His guidebook asks:

What is ruminating in you right now?

Geri and Freki (the wolves of Odin) are associated with loyalty, strength and the pack. Their section asks questions that stopped me in my tracks:

Am I being true to myself and my path?
What really nourishes me?
Where am I directing my energy?

And then Village…

Home. Security. Togetherness. Community.

Its message is essentially:

Look around. You are not alone.

And honestly, I think that was the one I needed to hear the most.

Two decks. One strangely consistent message.

The Star Trek deck seemed to be telling me:

Stop living so much in what might happen. Come back to what’s here. Know yourself. Live your life. You don’t need to know the ending yet.

And then the Norse deck seemed to answer:

Pay attention. Be true to yourself. Put your energy toward what actually nourishes you. And remember your village.

I don’t need to interpret that as the cards predicting anything for it to be meaningful.

If anything, it didn’t feel like the cards were telling me something new. It felt more like they were reflecting back things I’ve already been learning and reminding me to actually live them.

I’ve been learning that I can care deeply about someone without making their presence (or absence) the center of my life.

I can wait to have a conversation until there’s actually someone there to have it with.

I can trust myself to say what needs to be said when the moment comes.

And in the meantime, I can look around…

At my family, friends, the things I’m creating, the things I’m learning, and the tiny everyday things that currently make me happy.

My village.

This isn’t the stuff I do while I wait for my life to happen.

This is my life.

And right now, I want to be here for it.