Lucy, Lately

A few days ago, I got the words “we’ll see…” tattooed on my hand. It’s a tiny reminder of something I’ve been learning lately… I don’t actually know whether something that happens is “good” or “bad” while I’m in the middle of it. I only know what’s happening right now.

There’s an old Chinese parable about a farmer whose horse runs away. His neighbors tell him how unfortunate it is, and he simply replies, “We’ll see.” The horse later returns with several wild horses, which everyone calls wonderful luck. Again, the farmer says, “We’ll see.” His son is then injured while trying to tame one of the horses, but because of that injury, he isn’t taken away to fight in a war. His neighbors tell the farmer how fortunate he is that his son was spared. And once again, the farmer simply says, “We’ll see.”

That idea has been sitting with me for a while now. I’ve realized how quickly I tend to assign meaning to things while they’re happening. I typically try to determine that something is good or bad, that it means something about me, or that I know where it’s all going. But I don’t. None of us do. Sometimes the thing that feels like a loss opens a door I couldn’t see yet, and sometimes the thing I desperately wanted turns out differently than I imagined.

So “we’ll see…” has become a little reminder to stay curious instead of rushing to a conclusion, to let what’s happening simply be what’s happening, and to leave room for whatever comes next.

I loved the idea enough that I wanted it somewhere I would see it all the time. So I had “we’ll see…” tattooed on my hand, a tiny reminder right there in front of me whenever I catch myself trying to predict what happens next or decide what something means before the story has had a chance to unfold.

I’m sure I’ll still catch myself trying to figure everything out. That’s kind of the point. I don’t need to become someone who never worries, wonders, hopes, or gets disappointed. I just want to get better at noticing when I’ve turned what happened into a whole story about what it means. Sometimes I can simply come back to these two little words: we’ll see.

Something that feels awful today might make sense later. Something wonderful could change in ways I never expected. And there may be things I never fully understand at all!

I think I’m gradually learning to be okay with that. I don’t have to know yet.

“We’ll see…”